A Matter of Concience
Having watched and observed life from the standpoint of
soldier for ten years of my life, I felt there was no higher
honor than to serve my country and defend the values that
established this country. My family has a history of serving
this country dating back to the American Revolution and I
felt that to continue on in that tradition was the honorable
thing to do.
As I went through the process which led to my decision to
refuse deployment to Iraq for the second time, I was torn
between thoughts of abandoning the soldiers that I serve
with, or following my conscience which tells me: war is the
ultimate in destruction and waste of humanity.
Thoughts that we could, and should, consider better ways to
solve our differences with other people in the world have
crossed my mind on numerous occasions. And this was the
driving force that made me refuse deployment to Iraq a
second time. Some people may say I am doing so out of fear
of combat; I am not going to tell you that the thought of
going back to that place isn’t scary, but that is not the
reason for my decision to not return.
I want people to know that the longer I thought about just
how stupid the concept of war really is the stronger I felt
about not participating in war. Why do we tell our children
to not solve their differences with violence, then turn
around and commit the ultimate in violence against people in
another country who have nothing to do with the political
attitudes of their leaders?
Having read numerous books on the subject of war and having
heard all the arguments for war, I have come to the
conclusion that there are no valid arguments for the
destructive force of war. People are destroyed, nations are
destroyed, and yet we continue on with war. The young people
that I went with to the combat zone looked at it like it was
a video game they played back in their childhood.
When you contemplate the beauty of the world around us and
the gifts we have been given you have to ask yourself, “ Is
this what humanity is meant to do, wage war against one
another”? Why can’t we teach our children not to hate or to
not be afraid of someone else just because they are
different from us? Why must it be considered honorable to
train young men and women to look through the sights of a
high-powered rifle and to kill another human being from 300
meters away?
Consider, if you will, the positive things that could be
accomplished without war in our lives; prescription
medication that is affordable for seniors; college grants
that are available for high schools seniors; I could name a
list of reasons not to waste our resources on war. The most
important being to let the children of the world learn war
no more.
I’ve received e-mails from people who said that I was a
coward for not going to war, but I say to them that I have
already been, so I do not have anything to prove to anyone
any more. What is there to prove anyway, that I can kill
someone I do not even know and has never done anything to
me? What is in that concept that anyone could consider
honorable?
I first realized that war was the wrong way to handle things
in this or any other country when I went to the war zone and
saw the damage that it causes. Why must we resort to
violence when things do not go our way? Where is the logic
of that? I have felt that there are better ways to handle
our business than to bomb each other into oblivion. When you
are on the water in a boat and you have a chance to see
dolphins playing with each other as they go about their
business, you realize that if they can live without war then
humanity should be able to as well.
Can’t we teach our children to leave war behind in history
where it belongs? We have come to realize that slavery was
an obsolete institution and we realized that human sacrifice
was an obsolete institution and we left them behind us. When
are going to have the same enlightened attitude about war?
I look at my stepchildren and realize that war has no place
with me in giving them what they need to survive the trials
and tribulations of early adult hood. And if you look at all
the time soldiers lose in the course of fighting wars such
as birthdays and anniversaries, their children going to the
senior prom and college graduations, and other things which
can never be replaced, then you have to come the
understanding that war steals more from people than just the
sense of humanity, it also steals some of that humanity from
their family.
I have learned from first hand experience that war is the
destroyer of everything that is good in the world, it turns
our young into soulless killers and we tell them that they
are heroes when they master the “art” of killing. That is a
very deranged mindset in my opinion. It destroys the
environment, life, and the resources which could be used to
create more life advancing endeavors.
War should be left behind us; we should evolve to a higher
mindset even if it means going against what most people tell
us in this country, such as that we can never stop fighting
with other people in the world. I have made the decision to
not participate in war any longer and some people in this
country cannot comprehend that concept but to me it is
simple. I have chosen not to take part in war and it was
easy to come to that decision.
I cannot tell anyone else how to live his or her life but I
have determined how I want to live mine--by not
participating in war any longer, as I feel that it is stupid
and also that it is against everything that is good about
the world
For more about the Benderman's struggles read letters, below, from Kevin and Monica about Kevin's
decision to refuse deployment.
Listen to an
interview with Kevin about the Back-Door Draft and
another
interview with Kevin and his wife Monica about
Kevin's experience in Iraq and his decision not to
return.
