Why I Refused a 2nd Deployment to Iraq
I am Sgt Kevin Benderman and:
These are the chronological events that led me to conclude
that I had no other choice than to refuse the deployment
order to Iraq.
I was deployed to Iraq in March 2003 and returned in
September 2003; while I was there I was with the 1st
Squadron, 10th Cavalry Regiment, 4th
Infantry Division. We staged our vehicles in Kuwait and then
proceeded to move out into Iraq. We were carried on the back
of heavy equipment transporters to about fifty miles south
of Baghdad and then we downloaded the vehicles. We were in
the vehicles while they were on the trucks, which I thought
was a little odd considering that in the garrison
environment those types of actions are considered unsafe and
are therefore not allowed.
During the road march north through the country I saw the
effects of what war does to people, those effect are such;
homes were bombed, people were living in mud huts, people
were obtaining their drinking water from mud puddles along
the side of the road and were catching rain in buckets when
it did rain, they begged us for food and water and we had
enough, we would share it with the people that were there,
the kids looked especially hungry and thirsty. The commander
told us to stop giving the people food because they would
get food from other sources after the trucks started
bringing in relief supplies.
Somewhere along the route there was this one woman standing
along side the road with a young girl of about 8 or 9 years
old and the little girl’s arm was burned all the way up her
shoulder and I don’t mean just a little blistered, I mean
she had 3rd degree burns the entire length of her
arm and she crying in pain because of the burns. I asked the
troop executive officer if we could stop and help the family
and I was told that the medical supplies that we had were
limited and that we may need them, I informed him that I
would donate my share to that girl but we did not stop to
help her.
When we were there, the command elements ordered the unit to
perform all types of actions that are considered unsafe to
soldiers, such as, having military vehicle maintenance
personnel retrieve missiles that were present in our area of
operations using a M88 recovery vehicle and transport them
to sites to be destroyed by the explosive ordnance
personnel. They also ordered mortar personnel to enter into
a compound that held various types of munitions that the
Iraqi army had left behind and to load these munitions onto
trucks. When these personnel were not working fast enough
for the 1SG he ordered them to throw the mortar rounds onto
the trucks whereupon one of rounds exploded and inflicted
shrapnel wounds on two soldiers.
We were using an old custom building that was located in the
middle of the town that we were in for the troop HQ and
naturally that attracted the attention of the local
populace. Small children would come up to the wall that
surrounded the place before we had a chance to apply
concertina wire along the top of the wall and they would
toss small pebbles at us inside the walls. We would tell the
children to get down from the wall and leave the area, one
day the troop commander saw us telling the children top get
down from the wall and he told everyone there that if the
children came back at any time after that to shoot them if
they were to climb back onto the wall.
I was in charge of a group of soldiers that were in their
late teens through their early twenties and I had to
constantly tell them to keep their heads down because they
thought that the war was like the video games that they
played back at the barracks. War is not like that at all and
until you have the misfortune to engage in it for yourself
you cannot begin to understand how insane it all is. There
are no restart buttons on reality and that is why I cannot
figure out why now we are pursuing such a policy in this day
and age. War should be relegated to the shelves of history,
as was human sacrifice. If you stop to think about it you
become aware that war is just human sacrifice. There is no
honor in killing as many as you can as quickly as you can.
We, in America refer to ourselves as civilized and people
from other countries still living the simple life are
backwards and un-civilized, but what is civil about the
capability to create atomic weapons? What is civil about
being able to kill over 100,000 people with just one bomb?
We may be more technologically advanced but are we more
civilized? I think the answer is no. War has to be
considered the absolute enemy of mankind. Where we would be
without it? I would presume that we as a nation would be out
of debt if we were to apply as much energy to pursuing sound
economics as we do pursuing war, we would never get sick if
we spent as much on preventive medicine as we do on war, the
elderly would get affordable prescription medication if we
were to use the resources that are spent on war to work for
that purpose, there would not be un educated children if we
were to buy new classrooms and books for schools instead of
new weapons systems, social security would be a lot more
secure with some of the money that war costs.
Why do we want to train the young people in the world that
the only way we can settle our differences is to kill one
another? Why shouldn’t we train them to become surgeons or
homebuilders? Why shouldn’t we train to become anything but
killers? I think that the world would be better off if we
were to do that instead. I have talked to veterans from
every war from WWII on and their opinion is that the wars
they fought were to be the last war ever fought. How many
more are we going to fight before we realize that the act of
war is for small minded people that are intent in only
satisfying their own needs and not the needs of the people
in general? I do not want to be killed because I am living
in a place that has a ruler that wants to go to war with any
one.
The only way to bring peace to the world is to let the
people of the world decide for themselves what they want to
spend their efforts on. I feel that in this day and age
governments start wars, and not people, and since the
governments want the wars then why don’t we let the
government fight the war? All of the politicians that want
to fight a war are free to trade places with me at any time.
I will gladly go and learn war no more.
There are activities that I have been involved in that have
led me to these new and developed beliefs, and they are
numerous but I can tell you some of them. When you walk in
the woods and you see a deer stand and look at you, or you
are on the river in the morning and the mist rises off the
water while you hear the morning calls of the river birds,
and the otters just lie there as you glide past in your boat
and don’t even move, you know that there is a better way.
When you can find solitude in the woods that are so filled
with peace and the wildlife that is all around you, you feel
the better way all around. A person must acknowledge the
fact the we are a part of the universe and the universe does
not want to be out of sorts with itself, so why do we spend
so much effort on trying to be out of sorts with others of
the human race?
I have been to the war zone and I have seen the devastation
it causes. Why can’t everyone agree that war is the most
repugnant of all human endeavors? Why is it considered noble
to be able to look through the sights of a rifle and kill
another human being from 300 meters away? Why are you a hero
if you can throw a hand grenade farther than the next guy in
the foxhole? Shouldn’t these young men and women that are in
the army be throwing footballs or baseballs or softballs
instead? It would impress me a lot more to see someone make
the winning free throw at the basketball game or kick the
winning extra point at the football game, or knock in the
winning run at the World Series than to see them be able to
shoot more humans from 300 hundred meters. I would rather
they spend their time at the golf course or the tennis
courts or in college, any where but in the war zone trying
to survive and having to kill to do it. It just doesn’t make
sense to me.
A Brief
History of Sgt Kevin Benderman’s Military Service
I first entered the army on 27 Jan 1987 and received basic
training at Ft. Bliss, TX. I received advanced individual
training at Ft. Sam Houston, TX. My military occupational
specialty was designated as 91R10 Veterinary Food Inspection
Specialist which is basically the equivalent to a U.S.D.A
Food Inspector.
My first duty assignment was Ft.
Leavenworth, Ks. Where I worked in the commissary and my
duties included; inspecting poultry and dairy products,
fresh fruits and vegetables, canned goods, and the general
sanitation of the facility. My mission was to ensure the
health of the soldiers. Was a part if the United States
Army Medical Dept. Activity or USA MEDDAC.
I received an Army Achievement Medal while serving on the
unit fund counsel, which utilized funds, raised through
various activities to help provide for soldiers that were
not able to get home during Christmas. I received another
AAM for assisting during an increased workload due to
personnel shortages during the Persian Gulf War. I also
received my first Good Conduct Medal during this enlistment.
I received an honorable discharge from the Army after the
Persian Gulf War on 24 Apr 1991. I re-entered the Army 26
Jun 2000 and was awarded the MOS of 63M10, which is a
Bradley Fighting Vehicle mechanic. Re-took basic training at
Ft. Knox, KY and went the US Army Armor School at Ft. Knox,
KY
Received AAM for being honor graduate from the Class.
First duty assignment after completion of training was
Ft. Hood, TX. Unit was 1st Squadron, 10th
Cavalry Regiment, 4th Infantry Division. Also
known as the Buffalo Soldiers.
Went to Iraq with the 4th I.D. in March 2003
returned to Ft. Hood Sep 2003. Re-enlisted with choice of
duty station of Ft. Stewart, GA.
ARMY AWARDS RECEIVED INCLUDE TWO ARMY COMMENDATION MEDALS, 4
ARMY ACHIEVEMENT MEDALS, 3 GOOD CONDUCT MEDALS, 2 NATIONAL
DEFENSE SERVICE MEDALS, And ONE GLOBAL WAR ON TERRORISM
SERVICE MEDAL. RECEIVED NUMEROUS LETTERS OF COMMENDATION.
RECEIVED COMBAT LIFESAVER CERTIFICATION, WAS CHOSEN TO BE
THE STUDENT 1ST SGT OF THE PRIMARY LEADERSHIP
DEVELOPMENT COURSE OUT OF FOUR HUNDRED STUDENTS.
For more about the Benderman's struggles read letters, below, from Kevin and Monica about Kevin's
decision to refuse deployment.
Listen to an
interview with Kevin about the Back-Door Draft and
another
interview with Kevin and his wife Monica about
Kevin's experience in Iraq and his decision not to
return.
